CLASS SCHEDULE, EYEBROWS
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OUR TOWN AND ALL AROUND COUPON BOOK
The median home price in Southern California was $505,000 in July 2007, $385,000 in April 2008, and $249,000 in May 2009.
A LITTLE STORY
I’m due for a new hairdo. I saw that Kate Gosselin of Jon and Kate with Eight fame changed hers and it made me think that I was due for a change too. I think I’ve had the same haircut since 7th grade. Before then I used to part my hair on the side. I forget if it was on the left or right side, but it forced me to carry a comb at all time because I had to separate the left side of my hair from the right side. Joining the puberty parade made me realize that I needed something that looked hot, much more hot. There were girls that just had to see my hair in a different pattern and it would drive them crazy. So I went with the feathered-back look or at least that is what happened when you comb your hair back after parting it for years.
My hair now is short so I can’t do much with it. It’s either cut it short or shorter. I used to have my hair long enough where I would twirl big knots in it. I just liked the way it felt. One day I went to Uncle Bills where I forgot I had a knotted twirl left on my head. I believe I started a slow-developing trend that day because now I see rappers like Snoop Dog with that look.
There was a time that I did have a moment when I did change my hair. Remember the Wild Thing haircut that Charlie Sheen had for the movie Major League. Yah, I did that zig-zag thing to the back of my hair. What can I say, I’m a big Cleveland Indians fan.
Back to what I should do with my hair now. Do I give myself a Mohawk? A permanent? Should I add hair attachments? Do I go blonde? Should I shave my head? I’m thinking I should start a new trend again. As I get older I want things to be more practical. So I’m going to have my hair done so that it’s in the shape of a hat. It’ll keep the sun and rain out of my eyes and It’ll save me time with putting a hat on my head besides the few dollars it will save me from having to buy new hats. To get it into the shape of a hat I will have to keep from washing it much. The grease and the bonding agent of dust, lint, and errant dandruff will help concrete a hat shape on my head.
I need an side accersory to go with my look. I don’t want to be one-dimensional with it. So I will also grow my eyebrows out so that I have two mini-hats above my eyes. I’m talking Leonid Breznev eyebrows, but manicured. To make my eyebrows grow faster I will have to scrunch my face as if I’m concentrating heavily.
The new look will stroke my ego some because of all the attention it will get me. People will point at me and fawn over my new look. To add to my look I will also develop a new hitch in my walk. I will add a little kick thing to it. It might take me longer to get where I’m going with an added kick, but this is a package deal with myself. After all, this new year means a new me. Or until I get bored with it after 30 years.
Hi, I'm Leonid Breznev...remember me? You're likin them eyebrows ain'tcha. Unibrow power!
Andy Rooney’s eyebrows…they look like butterflies napping above his glassy eyes.
PBM, a leading infant formula company that supplies store-brand infant formulas to Walmart, Sam’s Club, Target, Kroger, Walgreens, and other retailers, has won a $13.5 million damages award in its false advertising lawsuit against Mead Johnson & Co. PBM’s lawsuit claimed that Mead Johnson engaged in false and misleading campaigns against PBM’s competing store-brand of infant formulas, suggesting they do not provide the same nutrition as Mead Johnson’s brands. PBM’s store-brand infant formulas cost up to 50 percent less than Enfamil® LIPIL®. The $13.5 million in damages awarded by the jury in the United States District Court for the Eastern District of Virginia is one of the largest damages awards ever for a false advertising case.
Foot Locker - 117 stores
Blockbuster - Strongsville & Middleburg Heights (Southland) - Redbox is really beating up the competition.
2010 NO EXPIRATION DATE TOUR
All the library classes are free. Most will request that you register for the class. The fee classes are longer. Times subject to change. If you’d like to book me for a speaking engagement, please contact me at email@example.com.
Jan 14, 2010 - Thursday - 7:00 to 8:00 PM - Pearl Road PTA
Jan 20, 2010 - Wednesday - 7:00 to 8:30 PM - Orange Seniors
Jan 27, 2010 - Wednesday - 7:00 to 8:30 PM - Euclid Library
Jan 28, 2010 - Thursday - 7:00 to 8:30 PM - Crestview Elementary - Brunswick
Feb 3, 2010 - Thursday - 7:00 to 9:00 PM - Solon Community Center - Call 440-349-6245 to sign up - $10 fee
Feb 9, 2010 - Tuesday - 7:00 to 8:30 PM - Rocky River Early Childhood PTA
Feb 10, 2010 - Wednesday - 7:00 to 8:30 PM - Brecksville-Broadview Heights Preschool Mothers Club
Feb 24, 2010 - Wednesday - 6:00 to 7:00 PM - Willoughby Hills Library
Mar 1, 2010 - Monday - 8:00 to 9:30 PM - North Royalton Early Childhood PTA
Mar 10, 2010 - Wednesday - 7:30 to 8:30 PM - Fairview Park Early Childhood PTA
Mar 25, 2010 - Thursday - 12:30 to 1:30 PM - North Olmsted Seniors
Apr 8, 2010 - Thurdsday - 7:00 to 8:00 PM - Olmsted Falls PTA
May 3, 2010 - Monday - 7:00 to 8:30 PM - Wildwood Recreation Center - Mentor
May 13, 2010 - Thursday - 5:30 to 6:30 PM - Madison Library (Mansfield area)
June 14, 2010 - Monday - 7:15 to 9:15 PM - Lakeland Community College - $29 fee - Call 440-525-7116 to register - 2 hour class
July 13, 2010 - Tuesday - 7:00 to 8:30 PM - Parma Hospital