{"id":431,"date":"2009-12-18T01:02:54","date_gmt":"2009-12-18T01:02:54","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/joethecouponguy.com\/blog1\/?p=431"},"modified":"2009-12-23T02:52:47","modified_gmt":"2009-12-23T02:52:47","slug":"santa","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/joethecouponguy.com\/blog1\/2009\/12\/18\/santa\/","title":{"rendered":"SANTA"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

SANTA<\/strong>
\nI went to the mall to visit Santa. I was a little worried about getting all the gifts that I requested from the letter I sent to Santa, so I figured I\u2019d visit him. I know he\u2019s been closely watching my every move and I there were a couple things I did that might have put me on the naughty list. One of the things I did was I used a coupon for a dollar off of Post Honey Bunches of Oats with Almonds when it was good ONLY for the Post Honey Bunches of Oats with Figs. I know it was wrong and I really sweated it out at the register knowing the Coupon Police might arrest me for coupon fraud. <\/p>\n

The other thing that might ding me on the Santa list is when I rubbed the Formby\u2019s stain in a clockwise direction instead of counter-clockwise like the instructions said. But the thing that has me worried the most is when in the middle of the night I chain-sawed all the neighbors cars in half. What can I say. I was bored that day. If I did it during the day when people were awake I think I would\u2019ve gotten off the hook. <\/p>\n

Now I hope that Santa brings me what I want. I really hope that I get the money that the nice Nigerian people that e-mailed me and said they needed and would give me extra money back. And same with those folks from overseas that said I inherited money. I just know Santa plans to bring me all the loot they promised. I already bought a boat knowing that I would get the money. <\/p>\n

So I went to the mall and waited in line with all the kids to see Santa. In order to impress Santa I brought him a nail clipper for a present. I mean, think about it. He delivers all these presents and nobody gives him anything but some cookies and milk. That is really bogus for him. So I shined up an old nail clipper I had for him. I hid in a dark closet and shined it up so it looked like new. I figured he wouldn\u2019t be able to see me in a dark closet. And I think Santa can only see you if you’re bad when you are in the living room. Makes me think, I sure hope he doesn\u2019t watch me everywhere I go. That might not be pleasant for him.<\/p>\n

After a little hassle with mall security I sat on Santas lap. I had just enough time to get out all I wanted to say until the security guards came to get me. I\u2019ll tell you, they fall down and stay down after you chop block them. So first I gave Santa the present. I forgot to wrap it, but he was ok with that. I could tell from how he looked at me. I gave him the rundown of what I wanted. He said I was getting heavy for him on his lap so I got on his back. I noticed Santa had a little dandruff from up there. A little Selsun Blue would help him. <\/p>\n

From there I continued my list. Santa sure was a little cranky even though I gave him a nice shiny nail clipper. He said that if I was a good boy I would get what I want. I beamed with excitement as I ran out of the mall. <\/p>\n

Joe
\nhttp:\/\/www.joethecouponguy.com<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

SANTA I went to the mall to visit Santa. I was a little worried about getting all the gifts that I requested from the letter I sent to Santa, so I figured I\u2019d visit him. I know he\u2019s been closely watching my every move and I there were a couple things I did that might […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-431","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/joethecouponguy.com\/blog1\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/431"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/joethecouponguy.com\/blog1\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/joethecouponguy.com\/blog1\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/joethecouponguy.com\/blog1\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/joethecouponguy.com\/blog1\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=431"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/joethecouponguy.com\/blog1\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/431\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/joethecouponguy.com\/blog1\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=431"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/joethecouponguy.com\/blog1\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=431"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/joethecouponguy.com\/blog1\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=431"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}