DEALS O’ THE WEEK AND MORE!

CLEVELAND INDEPENDENTS
Gift Certificate Sale starts July 14. Get discounted gift certificates at local area independent restaurants.
Got to: http://www.clevelandindependents.com.

MALL CLOSINGS
Read a story about mall closings – may be some in your area: http://finance.yahoo.com/news/Americas-Most-Endangered-usnews-1952033275.html?x=0&.v=1

A LITTLE STORY
I noticed another one of those people that keep their mouth open whenever they are deep in thought or confused. He was trying to decide what he wanted on the Wendy’s value menu. The prices are so good that I think he was having a hard time deciding what to get. This time it was a bit different though. I noticed a group of houseflies playing pinochle on his tongue. There was enough light with his open mouth for them to deal the cards and all. They were snacking on some Cheetos in-between his teeth left over from last nights meal. I could tell he didn’t floss or brush his teeth. The deeper his thought the wider his mouth got. He would’ve been a dentist’s dream. No need to ask him to open his mouth. Just ask him a question and there opens his trap and a confused look forms on their face.

One of the flies was playing a banjo. It was a catchy tune. My leg started to go up and down and I started to slap my knee. I wanted to dance, but I was still in line. But I said the heck with it and let out some hoots and started dancing. I tried to get some other patrons in the store to do-si-do with me. It partly was a ploy to move up in line. I figured I could swing my partner and then move up to the next one until I was next in line. But then I realized it wasn’t a banjo playing fly and that it instead was some odd moans he was making as though his thought patterns were verbalized. You know, how people talk when they are thinking hard. By then moved from 8th to 3rd in line.

Now I had a complex because I figured people understood why I was dancing. I kept my composure and started to whistle. It wasn’t professional whistling. Just some improvised tune. But did you ever hear someone belt out a well inflected tune whistling like they want you to notice how well they whistle. The stanzas are well put together and the notes just bounce off the walls. I noticed someone else in line started dancing to my whistling though. I started to feel better about my whistling so I puffed my chest out and I got a little more crafty with my tune. The high notes got higher and the low notes got lower. I rat-a-tat-tatted a tune. And I kicked up the beat a notch to give this person a tune that was something a little more danceable. He started to do-si-do in line just like I did, but as he got to me I punched him in the head.

Back to the open mouth guy. Did you ever come across people that mouth the same words that you are saying. That’s when I usually talk real fast to see if they can keep up and I talk nonsensically to make it even harder. I’ll even eat something like a carrot to see if the also mouth the way I’m eating my food while I’m talking. I play games like that to amuse myself sometimes. Homo Sapiens. Such odd creatures.

RESTAURANT.COM
Get a $25 gift certificate for $3 – a 70% savings (normally $10). Check out the new restaurants that have been added like Fat Fish Blue.
Click here:
Restaurant.com

LOCAL ADS
Find local Cleveland area store ads on http://www.shoplocal.com/cleveland/circulars.fp.
Or find ads in your area at http://www.shoplocal.com.

WEB-SITE FAVORITES
Find all your favorite sites in one listing. Great for you super surfers.
http://www.allmyfaves.com.

CVS
Sunday papers are 99 cents each Sunday until 7/26.
Free after extrabucks – CVS brand pencils, tape, and pantiliners.

RITE AID
99 cents after rebate:
Anti-Monkey Butt – yes, yes, there is a product with this name. I dare some of you to go there just to buy this one product. And while you’re in line just grimace and rub your behind. Ask the cashier if you can use it right away.
No – Doz

K-MART
Both Big K’s and Super K’s are doubling until 7/11. Supposed to be up to 10 coupons per visit can be used. Coupons up to $2 and less are doubled. They stopped taking internet coupons for the doubles, but I’ve seen that rule vary by store/cashier. Remember coupons that have a UPC that start with a 9 won’t double (they usually say do not double on them). It has to start with a 5.
Go to this site for a breakdown on some of the deals: http://hip2save.blogspot.com/2009/06/kmart-double-coupon-deals-67-613.html

WALMART
What percentage of the items they sell are made in China? It’s 70% as reported in http://www.wakeupwalmart.com. Remember how they used to tout how all their products were made in America. Check out the site – some shocking stats.

DAMONS
Wind back Wednesday with their original menu prices:
$1.75 Half Onion Loaf
$2.75 Full Onion Loaf
$3.75 Southern BBQ Sandwich

SNAPFISH
Get 50 prints for 50 pennies. Use code PENNY. Ends July 10. Go to http://www.snapfish.com.

UNEMPLOYMENT
During the Great Depression, the U.S. unemployment rate climbed to 25 percent. That number included all working-age people that were not working. However, today the unemployment rate doesn’t include ALL people that are unemployed. It doesn’t include people that stopped looking for work because they have become discouraged and people that are working low-paying part-time jobs because they can’t find full-time work (under-employed people). The U.S. unemployment rate stood at 9.5% in June. It would be 16.5% if the same standards were used as during the Great Depression. There are many more safety nets now that are keeping most people from absolute despair, but with all the cutbacks in budgets some safety nets are being unraveled.

CELL PHONE SHOP
Get cell phone supplies up to 80% off. Use code CPSJUL91 to get 10% off orders of $15 or more. Free shipping on all orders over $30. Click here:
CELLPHONESHOP.NET

HOSPITALIZATION
With all the moaning about socialized medicine in the U.S. I was amazed that even without it my wife tried to set up a doctors appointment and was told she couldn’t get in until July 2010 since she was a new patient. Hello! Off to free medical care day!

FREE MEDICAL CARE DAY
Need to reattach a limb? Maybe that second head that has grown out of your stomach needs to be removed. It was getting a little too chatty talking about soap operas and celebrity gossip as it was. Or perhaps you just need to get rid of a festering sore that is now the size of one of the Dakota states. Your day has come. Free medical day is now July 25th and 26th at University Circle. The same one that was rescheduled from back in May. I will also be there to play catch with any gall stones that are removed from patients. Click here for details:
http://blog.cleveland.com/metro/2009/07/healthcare_fair_rescheduled_ju.html

BANKRUPT
Evelyn & Crabtree

Joe
http://www.joethecouponguy.com

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