Growing up, did you ever have your Mom call out your name out loud in the store looking for you? Mine did. It was so not cool when you were a kid. Here I was at Pick-n-Pay and I hear her yodel out my name. If I had a empty tin can to kick I would’ve at that moment, but I just cowered and made my way over to the voice alarm. I think I was like, “umm, Mom, you can stop it.” I might as well put a name tag that said ‘Crud’ on it.

At that time my Mom was also good about using me as a shill for her to get more than the limits allowed for certain sale items. So here I was with a 5 lb bag of sugar, some milk, and some butter in line and I had no concept of money. I think the bag of sugar was taller than me and weighed more than me too.

Now the worst was the walk home. At that time my Mom didn’t drive so we walked to the store. At that age it seemed like it was walking to the other ends of the earth when we went to the store.

On the way back home I was weighted down by all kinds of groceries. I was little so my legs didn’t move me as far as an adult could move. But that didn’t stop my Mom from cranking it on the way home. I think you could see a dust cloud behind her when she walked. My legs were doing triple time just trying to keep up with her. They were moving like the Scooby Doo running in place movement.

Now that I’m older I walk very fast and I’m sure it’s because I had to keep up with my FloJo Mom. I probably should take up walking races. I’m sure I’d set new world records. The nice thing is that it helps me blaze through stores.

I’m also quick at getting out of the car. Most people I know are just slow getter-outers from cars. I could be in the store already checked out and they are just getting around to closing the door of the car.

Reminds me, I have a friend whose kids call him Far-parker. Apparently he likes to park at the end of the aisles in the parking lot. I guess it’s better than being called Mr. Slow getting out a good parking spot Person.

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